"It's your money!"

I am not sure if it is the age or if a little responsibility has just gone a long way, but Samantha has earned her allowance three weeks in a row. This may be a record. I was afraid the story that she stayed up until midnight completing her jobs a few weeks ago would get out and that Child Protective Services would be knocking on my door, however, I am glad I held my ground that day and it seems to have paid off.

Background info:

There is a famous story/embarrassing moment in our family about Samantha. When she was little every time we went to the grocery store and she wanted something a little extra like a candy bar near the check-out. My response was always, “We don’t have any money for that!” However just before a trip to visit family I told her to pick something that she wanted as a special treat for the airplane ride. After years of telling her “No” she was floored. In her sweet excited and loud voice she exclaimed, “WE HAVE MONEY?” Everyone turned and giggled and I have never forgotten that moment.

Not long after that Scott brought home a video Called “Your Money, Your Children, Your Life.” By Neale Godfrey. We have only watched that video once, but we incorporated the theories and that is how we came up with the system we use to help our children manage and learn about money. In short, our kids get a dollar per year of age, if they earn it. They have chores that are just expected because they are part of the family like cleaning their rooms, making their beds, clearing their dishes and toy clean-up. But if they choose to do their extra jobs, and they complete all of them, they can get paid. Then their money goes into 4 different categories: 10% tithing; 30% Quick Cash (wallet); 30% Medium-Term Savings (savings jar); and 30% Long- Term Savings (bank).



Now when Samantha was 5 and Jacob was 3 years old, $8 didn’t seem like that much. Four years later however, paying a 9, 7 and two 5 years olds every week I sometimes question the system. $26 a week or $104 a month is getting a little pricey. Granted I have never paid out that much. I don’t have perfect children and I have never paid everyone, every week. If that became the trend we really would have to find a different system.

Over time the system has been “Ethingtonized” and I have tied jobs to other privileges such as TV, Xbox, and friend time. I often take away toys/clothes that don’t get picked up and then charge the kids .05 per item to get their things back. Sometimes they spend it too fast, and then their toys stay up high till the next week. Their Quick Cash is their money to use for what ever they want. I try hard not to interfere, but the frugal side of me sometimes puts my foot down. Like last week when Jacob tried buying a package of Oreo’s at the pharmacy for $4.59. That one just didn’t fly. He did find a smaller package for $1.19 that made it through check out, but I laughed when we got home to find that there were only 4 Oreo’s and he didn’t even have the money to pay me back. Due to the circumstance, Samantha and the twins each paid .30 for a chocolate covered Oreo and it seems Alex found his way up on the counter and ate the last one. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

Jacob actually has the most money in the bank. The privileges tied to jobs seem to be the right motivation for him and often he quickly does his homework and jobs to earn such privileges, the money is just an extra benefit. (With the clarification since his birthday he has had plenty of toys to keep him occupied so he hasn’t been paid the last 2 weeks). He takes on the responsibility and thinks it is easy; a few months ago he was given the same work load as Samantha. Since Samantha has a hard time completing her three jobs everyday I was worried, but Jacob is motivated and has kept the pace. I am not kidding when he actually asked for 4 jobs a day, but we will wait for that one.

Samantha has a hard time with our system. From her perspective, she always had more to do (she is two years older) than anyone which obviously isn’t fair. She doesn’t play Xbox, she doesn’t care about TV, and it is hard to play with friends during the week so why do jobs. She likes money, but she has expressed frustration when her money gets divided up and she doesn’t feel like it is worth the effort for a small amount of spending cash. When she doesn’t do her 3 jobs per day they stack up and by Saturday it is just too overwhelming. Sometimes she will get close to finishing, but because her room isn’t clean she doesn’t qualify for the allowance. She has given me a lot of free work over the years.

She knows that the boys often get more treats to than her, but they normally share or she finds other ways to pay. Last week with the Oreo incident I found out that she had “borrowed” a quarter (Matthew now has a nice IOU note in his wallet-probably not a habit to encourage but the Oreo had already been eaten). The tooth fairy has also been a nice supplemental income for the last year, until her teeth stopped falling out.

In the past I have looked for the right button to push and help encourage Samantha to do her work. She doesn’t care about TV, or Xbox, and friends and outside playtime only motivate her some of the time. One thing she does care about is books. She reads all the time and can’t wait till I go the library every other week to check her out more. If she goes with me to the library she always has her bag overflowing with books. I have toyed with the idea of making reading time a privilege but that always seemed a little backwards. Thankfully the school library had no problem helping us in that area.

A few weeks ago at school Samantha didn’t screw her water bottle tight enough and it leaked all over her backpack, including a school library book. The book was completely soaked. When she returned it to the library they assessed the damage and tried to fix it but they decided that she would need to replace the book. All library privileges were revoked until the $10.71 fine was paid. Samantha was devastated and wanted to bring the money in right away. This is where our little money management system comes in. Obviously it is not fair to make me pay for a book I never even saw, so I told her it was her responsibility.

Now we come full circle to the day before Jacob’s birthday when Samantha said “she had too big of a problem and too much to pay for,” an exact quote with a lot of drama. I refused to pay for her book and she needed to pay for her present to Jacob. She knows that she gets a big allowance, but that day she said that she would rather have only .50 a week and then she wouldn’t have to pay for anything extra. The other kids were on their way to bed. I stood my ground on not helping her out financially and allowed her to stay up as long as it took to finish her chores.

She was slow and took a lot of breaks but she was proud when I paid her. She had enough to cover her present and this Monday she will be able to pay off her library fine. Now she wants to start saving for an American Girl doll, we figured it is going to take a few months. I see a lot of bumps in our future and I am not sure how our system will continue to work. When she gets older I expect her to pay for fun outing with friends and extra clothes. Will she be a smart money manager and financially self-sufficient? Maybe we should pull out that video and out and see if we are on track, a month ago I don’t think so, but maybe we have moved in the right direction.