7 things I am thankful for-- 7 days late.

A week ago our family celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with Scott’s mom, his sister Laura and her husband Brian. We had a week full of fun, but I wanted to write about our Thanksgiving and remember what we were thankful for.

Since I have been married to Scott we have adopted the tradition to express the things that we are thankful for before we eat pie. This tradition has developed over the years through his family. They used to use matches and have each person take a turn saying what they were thankful for before the match burned out. Eventually someone started bringing long match sticks, but now our family has just adapted to a candle which you can blow out when you are done. Since my blog was tagged a few times to name 7 random facts about myself, I thought I would adapt to the 7 things I am most thankful for. I know that I am a week behind, but with family in town for the holidays I got a little behind.

• First I am thankful for 10 years of marriage. Scott and I celebrated our 10th anniversary the day before Thanksgiving. It is amazing that a third of my life has been spent with Scott, and I couldn’t ask for a better husband. He is a wonderful father, and he is such a good example for our boys. I thrive when he is around and find myself missing him when he is gone. I am so glad to say that after 10 years I still can’t get enough time with him.
  
• I am thankful for the gospel and the direction it has given me in my life. I will admit that having grown up in the church that I don’t know any different, but I can’t imagine my life with out the atonement or the joy the gospel brings. It not only gives me direction but I am also thankful that I can teach my children about Christ.
  
• I am thankful for family, especially those that are able to come visit us. We had such a great time this last week with some of Scott’s family and I am looking forward to Christmas with my family who will be coming to Texas this year.
  
• I am so thankful for all of my children. I love to watch them grow and can’t imagine how they will change next. They are always full of surprises, and I learn so much from them. I am also grateful for such wonderful children that have the desire to do what is right, it makes parenting a little bit easier.
  
• I am thankful for food. What would life be with out mint chocolate and ice-cream? This past week was a week of wonderful food. Although I love to eat, I don’t have the talent to always prepare things the way I want. It was fun to be around Scott and him mom in the kitchen this last week. I will admit to disappearing while taking care of the baby; but it was so nice to not worry the Thanksgiving or Sunday dinner.
  
• I am grateful for my health. You don’t know what you have until it is gone. There have been those random times where I have been really sick or have had pain from an injury and it really made me appreciate all those pain free hours I used to take for granted.
  
• Jacob laughed when the last thing I said was that I was thankful for my computer. It seems funny that I spend so much time looking at the computer screen, but I like to think that I accomplish a lot with the computer. I keep a record of my journal, I organize family pictures, I have made family videos, I try to update relatives with our website and my blog, I keep track of our finances and pay bills, and I try to stay in touch with family and friends through email.
  

The thing to me that was most special on Thanksgiving was the true sincerity that Jacob showed durning this time. Samantha was a little shy and dodged her turn a couple of times. However Jacob really took the time to list the things that he was thankful for and then after his turn was over he moved seats to take another turn because he had thought of some more things he wanted to say. Next time we should get a tape recorder because he gave such a sweet testimony too. One of the things he mentioned were “roads” so that we can travel and so that Grandma’s can visit. Joshua has developed such a little sense of humor and started giggling at the mention of roads; but Jacob didn’t let that stop him. Later, when Joshua had his turn he also came up with a list, mostly toys and cars but I noticed that he too mentioned roads.

"...when he grows up."

It is so much fun to hear the things that kids say and the ideas about life that they have. I over heard the cutest conversation between Jacob and his friend Jayden the other day.

Jayden: I know where your dad is—He’s at work.
Jacob: Nope.
Jayden: Here’s taking a nap?
Jacob: Nope. He’s flying in a real airplane.
Jayden: Really?
Jacob: Yep. He's taking flying lessons and he is going to be a pilot when he grows up.
Jayden: Isn’t he already grown up?
Jacob: Nope.

Obviously Jacob doesn’t talk much, but it is profound to hear the things he will say. I always like to think that I am young, but assume my kids think I am old. It is nice to hear that Jacob realizes that we still have a lot of growing up to do too.

Who wants to say the Pear?

It is so fun living in a house with little boys who are trying to understand their world and language. I still have memories of a few of the words that I said wrong when I was little such as a wash rag was a rash rag until I was about ten. So why am I still so surprised with the word mix-ups going on in the house?

Jacob yesterday was doing home work; yes, he has homework every night in Kindergarten. His assignment was to cut out pictures from magazines that correlated with the 3 letters they are learning this week. By helping him label the pictures we sound out the words and I see if he can get the spelling. Yesterday he first spelled elephant (I told him about the “ph” sound) and noodles but then we went on to the last letter. For the letter W he found a picture of water, and cut it out. Instead of water he labeled the picture woder. Even though I was there to help in the spelling error, he insisted that we were wrong and he even sounded it back for me. He was so determined that I decided to let him win the battle. After all isn’t there a saying “you can lead a boy to water but you can’t make him spell it”?

The other day Joshua saw a spiral and kept saying something really weird. Both Scott and I were in on this one trying to figure out what on earth he was talking about. We each took turns repeating the sounds he was making. Then Matthew came in and he started repeating Josh. Like I said he knew what Josh was talking about. After a lot of twisting the vowels around we finally figured out that he was saying Polar Express. He was talking about the train on the Polar Express movie when it spiraled up the mountain. I don’t think we would have ever figured that one out if it wasn’t the combined effort between all four of us.

Another great example of word mix ups is when I ask who turn it is to set the table either Matthew or Joshua or both will jump into their chairs at the table and say “I set the table”. This has been going on for weeks. No matter how many times that I explain setting the table means putting the dishes on the table they just don’t seem to understand.

Of course this list could go on forever, especially if I wrote everything down on a daily basis. As mentioned before last week was a week for crying. Dinner had been in progress for a few minutes when it was noticed the Matthew was upset. When asked what was wrong he said he wanted pears. So I passed the pears. You can imagine my confusion when this didn’t immediately solve our problem. He wanted pears I gave him pears. We then figured out that he had wanted to be the one to say the pray. Once again a problem we couldn’t solve. However this mix up continued because the next day at lunch Samantha said, “Prayers” and I folded my arms only to find she wanted left over pears for lunch. Maybe I should get my hearing checked.

“I want them back so much I think I am going to cry!”

Our family is full of a bunch of cry babies! Aren’t girls the ones tagged as emotional? With four boys and only one girl, you would think this wouldn’t be an issue. I just hope the phases pass quickly.

Alex: Well he is a baby so the fact that he is crying isn’t that unusual except he is only crying when I am gone and Scott is taking care of him. I swear he is too young for separation anxiety. I left Scott with Alex two nights in a row and I don’t think it did much for their relationship. The first night there was a miscommunication about how old the bottle was in the fridge so Scott didn’t feed him and Alex was just hungry. The next night I had a fresh bottle in the fridge and I fed him as I walked out the door. Needless to say, as far as Scott is concerned the A in Alexander’s name does not stand for Angel.

Matthew: Although Matthew isn’t a typical crier he has started getting very upset about random events. To motivate children to move, I started having them race to see who could do things the fastest. Big mistake! Now everything in our house is a race, except those fun events that I first implemented this game for such as cleaning up and getting in bed. All of the boys fight over who can eat the fastest, go up the stairs, go through a doorway, ect. When Matthew decides that it is time to cry, he takes the endurance prize. Lately he can be found crying up to 20 minutes after the fact that Joshua has done something first. Most of his battles are about things that can’t be undone and the crying is so pointless—not that I would help in this situation anyway because that would only encourage the crying. At this point time-outs, punishments, and even distractions have not helped decrease the crying period. The only thing that has worked was bribery, but that was only an experiment and I know that should not be a solution.

Joshua: Another sweet boy who doesn’t let the emotions control. So why is he wailing so much at night? The reason for waking up always varies, but usually he just wants company when he gets up to the bathroom. I am sure that he is always in a sleepy trace because I can never talk sense into him, or get him to stop the very loud crying. I consider myself a patient person, but when I am sleep deprived and I have an extra child waking up at night screaming and not communicating in any other way, I get very frustrated. I am always relieved when I physically put him on the toilet and that stops the crying- but that is not always the solution. He is very loud but I guess everyone else in the house wants to keep sleeping because it doesn’t seem to disturb anyone else but me. I have learned that if I keep a night light on in the bathroom and make sure “his” stool is by the toilet that the night wakings have decreased, but have not been eliminated.

Jacob: Clear back when Jacob was 2 months old I was an admirer of his cute puppy dog face when he was upset. When this little guy gets his feeling hurt his eyes get read and he gets very silent or he goes to hide. The funny part is I am such a sucker for it. Unlike Matthews crying that goes on forever, I find myself trying to help Jacob. Maybe because he isn’t calling for attention, his actions always seem so genuine and it breaks my heart to see him so hurt. Yesterday morning he was upset that I had stolen his favorite shirt to put it through the laundry. After 20 minutes of giving up the fight that he could not wear his favorite shirt for the third time this week, he came downstairs to finish getting ready. Because we were out of time, I had chosen oatmeal as a quick breakfast. I am sure there had already been hidden tears upstairs, because I noticed the puppy dog face right away. I told him I would eat the oatmeal (see I am a sucker) and I poured him a bowl of cereal with milk. Then he was upset because I packed his lunch, then he only got two bites before the carpool showed up. I rushed him out the door, and but then he was upset because he forgot his jacket upstairs. Then there was something about his homework. It was just so weird how within an 8 minute period he started to cry 5 times and I tried to solve the problem every time. Most of the time I don’t give in so easily but I just wanted him to go to school and have a good day, I guess he just needed that shirt.

Samantha: Well, she is a girl. The emotions typically run rampant with Samantha so this isn’t a phase we are dealing with. She was crying yesterday because she doesn’t feel like all the work she does at school is appreciated. All her teacher ever does is write the same thing every time, Good Job… However, on a positive note for the third week in a row she didn’t earn any play time with a friend on Friday. The bad mood was apparent for only 3 minutes and then she was actually extra happy. I have been trying to tell her that if she pretends to be in a good mood even when she is not, that things might turn out better. I guess she has been listening.

This is a literal quote from Jacob 30 seconds ago trying to talk me into giving him some of his toys back that he has lost his privileges too. “I want them back so much I think I am going to cry!”

My shopping Buddy

Joshua has become my little shopping buddy. It started a few weeks ago when I headed out for a quick trip to the store. Scott was mowing the lawn and all the kids were playing. Joshua innocently asked which car I was going in. I said the van, and his reply was “which one is the van?” A few moments later after I left I discovered I had a stow-a way in the back seat. It was so cute that I let him get away with it.

I used to go shopping after the kids were in bed, but when I try to squeeze shopping in-between feedings the best time for shopping is a little closer to bedtime. Of course Joshua’s little disappearance acts have been noticed and I have started rotating who get to come be my helper. Now, Joshua has come a few times and everyone else has had a turn.

Well this last Friday, I was not in the mood for shopping but it was obvious that we were out of too many staple foods to let it go another day. So I started my list and preparations for the dreaded trip. All kids expressed interest in going, but it was even later than normal so all were denied. Joshua had his shoes on and refused to put his PJ;s on until he got in trouble. Even with his pajamas I notice he still had his shoes on. It was really late so I fed Alex before I left. Kids had been put to bed, Alex was settled and it really was time to get the job done. I was trying to slip out, but Josh was watching my cues and was right by the door ready to go when I left. (When he had prodded earlier to which car I would be taking, I told him I didn’t know—I didn’t want to take any chances)

Despite all of the refusals of anyone coming, Josh had not been discouraged. Maybe all kids do this, when they are told they can’t do something they keep going as if they haven’t heard. They push to see how serious you are. If it hadn’t been so late, I would have totally given in, because it all seemed too innocent. I tried dashing out to the car fast and locking the doors, but then I couldn’t drive away because he was right there upset that the door wouldn’t open. It broke my heart to drag him back in as I realized how important it was to him to come with me, but it really was late.

With the baby fed and no kids to hurry to bed, I resorted back to a long lazy trip. The longer I was there the slower I got, but I couldn’t get myself to move any faster. I was also hungry so I broke open a can of peanuts and had half a bagel before the trip was done. Then I realize that I like shopping with my kids (only one or two at a time). They are good helpers, I stay focused, and when I refilled the water bottles, they would stay to turn them off while I collected items on an isle nearby. I guess Joshua has secured a future as my shopping buddy. When I went to turn off lights and go to bed I noticed he had gone to sleep with his shoes on—poor kid.

An Essay about Matthew and Joshua

Or is it Joshua and Matthew. At this point it isn’t an issue- they respond either way. I am sure it was hoped that they would each get their own essay. As different as they are their lives are intertwined and it is hard to talk about one and not the other.

It has been fun to be a mom of twins. They have had a strong bond since they were babies and now of course are best friends. They do what best friends would do when together and that is play all day. I learned early on that I was not the center of their world. My older children seek me out early in the morning; as soon as these boys were old enough to get out of the cribs they would head straight to the play room to start their day. Even with a new baby brother in the house, they didn’t seem phased by the new addition or my preoccupation. Maybe they will notice when he is older and starts playing with their toys.

They are unique individuals with different personalities, separate likes and dislikes, and they each have their own strengths and weaknesses. Early on I got asked a lot of questions on who was better at this or that, and I have decided not to keep track. Maybe in the classroom differences with be noticed, but I expect that they will both excel and do well. They both love books and seem on the same academic level. Don’t be alarmed that they can’t sing their ABC’s; they just can’t sing at all. I have never met anyone that is tone deaf but the fact that neither of them can even sing simple nursery songs might be a good indicator.

They are identical genetically but once you get to know them it should be easy to tell them apart. If you call them by the wrong name usually they just smile and correct you by saying, “No I’m Matthew/Joshua!” As their mother I can tell which one is crying in the middle of the night or who is who even from behind. Hopefully I will give you the clue so that you can tell just by looking at them. It’s all in the hair. Joshua has strong calics that makes the front of his hair stick right up. Matthew however has not developed the calics and his hair stays flat or as we like to say is matted down. Think Matthew has matted hair. It is a whole lot easier then looking for the tiny dot birthmark that is on Matthew’s head, that we relied on when he was a baby.

As I said before they are best friends. They will easily accommodate others in their play, but I think that they just forget sometimes and become cliquish. I want them to be encouraged to develop other relationships and learn that they don’t always have to be together. Although I am glad that they are together now before they will be forced to separate in Kindergarten.

Joshua: His favorite color is red. He has red shoes, always wants to eat off our red plates, and has even a special spoon that is red. He used to only want to be dressed in red, but since I have put him in charge of getting dressed I have been surprised to see him add a little variety to his wardrobe and try some of those shirts he used to never let me pick out for him. He loves animals and loves to pet them. He talks to them in a sweet high voice that he now also uses for his baby brother.

Matthew likewise has identified his favorite color to be green, although he is not as obsessed with the color in his wardrobe but he does have a preference for strips. He is afraid of animals especially dogs. When introduced to his baby brother he kept his distance and wants to hold him for a week. He does have a love for the water and thinks he is a fish. He was determined to go down the slides at the YMCA pool this summer and although it was a tough goal to pass the swim test he was determined and was very proud when he accomplished his goal.